My Back Pages

If Richard Adams and Frank Herbert had co-written a novel, would they have called it “Watership Dune?”

We’re stuck between the rebel alliance symbol and “make poverty quieter!”

Thoughts? suggestions?

Hilarious.

Fuck you.

Episode I The Phantom Menace
DRINK WHEN…
1. Anyone turns a lightsaber on or off
2. Anyone mentions the Force
3. Anyone says “Ani”
4. The Jedi Council is shown
5. The interior of the Senate is shown
6. Jar-Jar says “Meesa”
7. Anyone says “Naboo”
8. Pod racing / racers are mentioned

Episode II Attack Of The Clones
DRINK WHEN…
1. Anyone turns a lightsaber on or off
2. Anyone mentions the Force
3. The Jedi Council is shown
4. The interior of the Senate is shown
5. Anyone mentions refer to Anakin as young
6. Anakin refers to his affection for Padme
7. Anyone says “Jango” or “Boba”
8. Padme changes her outfit

Episode III Revenge Of The Sith
DRINK WHEN…
1. Anyone turns a lightsaber on or off
2. Anyone mentions the Force
3. Anyone says “M’Lady”
4. Anyone says “Dooku”
5. Anyone loses a limb
6. Padme’s childbirth death / “saving her life” is mentioned
7. A Jedi is killed
8. Anyone talks about “power” or being “powerful”

Episode IV A New Hope
DRINK WHEN…
1. Anyone turns a lightsaber on or off
2. Anyone mentions the Force
3. Luke whines about something
4. Anyone says “Kenobi”
5. R2-D2 or C-3PO gets damaged
6. Anyone insults the or boasts about the Millenium Falcon
7. Anyone mentions the Death Star’s technical plans inside R2-D2
8. Anyone communicates via radio

Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
DRINK WHEN…
1. Leia and Han bicker
2. The Millenium Falcon fails to go into hyperspeed
3. Luke fails a Jedi training task
4. Obi-Wan is shown or mentioned
5. The force is mentioned
6. A lightsaber is turned on or off
7. Anyone yells at or about C-3PO
8. The Dark Side is mentioned

Episode VI Return Of The Jedi
DRINK WHEN…
1. Anyone turns a lightsaber on or off
2. Anyone mentions the Dark Side
3. Anyone mentions “Destiny”
4. Anyone says “Skywalker”
5. Darth Vader and Luke refer to each other as “Father” or “Son”
6. Anyone mentions “Anger,” “Hate” or “Hatred”
7. The energy shield around the Death Star is mentioned
8. Han and Leia profess their love or show it

http://dollfaced-.tumblr.com/

Keep up the good work. 

or coffee, coffee would work too

Seriously.

I loved that window, I really did.
Sure, It rattled when it was windy, it didn’t keep much heat in, or keep much cold out. but that window and me, we had history man. It used to let me look at pretty girls walking past. It let sunlight into the room. it always remembered when I cleaned it last, It didn’t mind when I drew cocks in the dirt that gathered on it. it was always there for me. It was always honest and transparent with me, it joined me in judging my neighbours. it used to join me in mocking tourists, you know that middle aged dad with sandals and socks? my fucking window would tear him a new one, he would never step out of his crappy little house, with his ditzy, dumpy-ass wife ever again.

Who cares if you were old? You had style man, you knew that double glazing was just the shiny new toy on the block. you weren’t a pretentious bay window, with lots of angles and stupid plastic strips down you to make you look cute and artsy. You were a real window. No nonsense, I’m a piece of fucking glass, throw it at me bro, I can take it, kind of a window, a mans window, if rocky was a window, it would’ve been you.
That window was older than me, it was my fucking Gandalf. It’s seen everything thats happened in this house. it knew everything. it never let me down. if it could, it would’ve rode fucking eagles, thats the kind of window this was.

I stayed up with you all night tonight, to watch over you as you passed into glass heaven. where glaciers attend to you night and day, with polish, weatherproofing and chip repair. I know you’re repping the bay window up in heaven.
Now all thats left is the image of his head poking through you, saying what the fuck happened man and looking all “what? you think I did this on purpose?” I know he didn’t mean to kill you man. but he tore you apart and stepped through you, like you were a plastic window on a garage. You should’ve gone out punching god in the face, while riding a black unicorn made of diamonds and fire.

 Living room window, you truely were the best of us, you will be missed. 

The romantic in me, loves the printed word. The bound book is one of mankinds greatest innovations, I adore losing myself in literature, a good book doesn’t just take you to another world, It changes the way you see the one you’re in.

The Technophile in me loves the idea of the Kindle, all that storage for books! I could take hundreds with me on holiday! I can read it without a light in the room. It’s well made, it looks kinda cool and It’s more environmentally friendly but.. Ink feels more real than a screen. Paper feels better, books smell better. 

I have the same existential crisis about the Kindle that most people save for a mid-life crisis or losing their faith.

The crocodiles in Jumangi that used to terrify me as a child, now look so fake I can’t help but laugh.

I’m still scared though